"The making of a book is all in vain if that book does not help reshape the brain," wrote the Italian poet Giuseppe Giusti in the mid-nineteenth century. If the authentic value of a book lies in its power to transform, Suzy Singh's What Death Teaches Us is truly valuable.
Death has always been one of humanity's great themes, yet it remains one of the most repressed subjects of our time. It fascinates and disturbs us, but we continue to be morbidly seduced by stories about death that fill newspapers and broadcasts. Yet when confronted with our mortality, our rational minds short-circuit immediately.
Modern society is deluded by the illusion that death is a distant, avoidable event. As a result, death is most often pushed to the margins of life, rejected, or seen as an enemy to be defeated. But what if, instead, we tried to consider it a friend? What if the very secrets death whispers to us - if we dare to listen closely - hold the key to understanding our own lives more deeply and also the entire human experience?
This is the profound shift in perspective awaiting the reader of What Death Teaches Us. Suzy Singh has accomplished the remarkable feat of writing a book about death that deepens one's love for life. By speaking the language of the heart, she calms the mind's fears. It is not an academic essay on death but a living book of true stories that the author draws from her work as a Grief Relief Circle facilitator and her journey. The book is a tapestry of voices, held together by the loving, guiding presence of the author, who offers possible interpretations and insights throughout.
When approached without judgement and with a willingness to listen deeply, these stories become doorways into a sacred space. You begin to see your limitations not as obstacles but as signposts along your spiritual journey, urging you to transform and grow. You are called to reconnect with deceased loved ones, and in this way, you restore meaning to the relationship with your ancestors. Thus, awareness of our mortality becomes the key to accessing an eternal dimension.
In addition to the powerful stories it shares, the book concludes with a practical appendix offering tools and resources to help navigate the grieving process.
Ultimately, What Death Teaches Us is not merely a book about loss but a profound invitation to embrace life's fleeting nature. In the lessons offered, readers are guided through the grieving process and inspired to live with deeper awareness and wisdom, transforming how we face life and death.
The city had turned into a mass funeral ground. Amidst the deafening silence of death, all one witnessed over social media were a thousand crackling fires and a slew of bodies waiting for cremation. As we remained safely locked away in our homes during the second phase of the deadly pandemic, Sikh brothers stood boldly outside Gurudwaras, risking their lives to provide free oxygen seva to the needy. My soul churned in anguish as I contemplated their courage. What was I doing to help? Having lost my father recently, the wounds of grief were still raw. I could feel the woe of every living and dying person intensely. What was death teaching me?
The word death humbles and frightens us, but it also carries in its essence the possibility of transformation and new beginnings. One who has seen death is never the same again. For when we lose someone dear, we have an opportunity to envisage and contemplate our mortality. Doing so gives life greater meaning and purpose. We can then shake off the arrogance of thinking that tomorrow belongs to us and focus instead on how we wish to live today, for we understand there is no guarantee of rising with the sun the next day.
Death lends us a panoramic perspective of life. It urges us to stop clinging and complaining. It teaches us to become more self-aware and responsible. It nudges us to soften our hearts and activate altruistic perspectives. We are motivated to ignore insignificant provocations and focus on what truly matters, such as how we must live with non-attachment and face the moment of our passing with less fear. Understanding death makes life more precious. It teaches us to disidentify with the body alone, which shall return to dust. It inspires us to raise our consciousness to the higher centres of wisdom towards a greater, more lasting eternal identity.
As the beautiful chrysanthemum flowers in my garden begin to wither at the end of winter, I am amazed to observe how deliciously fragrant they become in death. When we live consciously, our soul emits a similar fragrance of wisdom as we approach the end of life. The decrepit staleness of death is made aromatic by our deliberate efforts to boldly face our fears, untruths, and errors in understanding the cosmic design of human incarnation. By contemplating the lives and deaths of those who have passed before us, we learn to live more authentically and die gently.
Founding the Grief Relief Circle during the pandemic and continuing to offer this free support ever since, I have had the rare opportunity to delve into the psyche of hundreds of grievers, learning, growing, and evolving with them as they share their stories and reinterpret their losses. Facilitating these circles has not only given me profound insights about life, death, love, loss, and grief, but they have transformed me in ways I could never have imagined. Such is the alchemic power of intentional suffering, storytelling, and empathising.
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