The Parents I Met

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The one question that always comes with being a parent is: 'Am I doing this right?' Yet, the love we feel for our child is irrevocable. Parenting is probably the only relationship we'll never walk out of-We are in it forever.

Featuring interviews conducted by Mansi Zaveri, the founder of the award-winning parenting platform Kidsstoppress.com, The Parents I Met is an anthology of her authentic conversations with parents of successful individuals who made it big against all odds. What was it that they did right while raising their kids to create the person their child is today? This is what she sets out to find.

The challenges faced by each generation may be unique, but the fundamental principles to overcome them remain the same. We hope that in these stories you will find answers, advice or simply validation.

Mansi Zaveri is the founder and CEO of India's most trusted discovery platform for parenting and childcare, Kidsstoppress.com, which boasts a digital reach of 20 million people per month. She was also featured in Exchange4Media's Content 40 Under 40 list in 2020. In June 2011, this mom of two decided to combine her passion for digital medium and her parenting journey to become an entrepreneur, leaving behind her corporate life to empower parents to make informed choices.

Mansi is the voice of the New Age Indian parents and has emerged as one of the most popular influencers in the parenting and baby care space. With a whole lot of passion and hard work, she has built Kidsstoppress.com into an enormously successful brand that today hosts online courses for parents, kids and women entrepreneurs.

Her first book, 50 Indian Meal Plans, ranked no. 1 on Amazon in Food and Encyclopaedias in 2020. The Kids Stop Press (KSP) Awards, which celebrates excellence in parenting and baby care, is her brainchild. A yoga student and sustainable living advocate, Mansi lives in Mumbai with her two daughters, husband and family.

I have found so many answers to parenting and life in the Bhagavad Gita that I couldn't start this one without quoting something that deeply resonated with me.

mata gurutara bhumeh pita uccataras ca khat

manah sighrataram vayos cinta bahutari nṛņam

(Yudhishthira answered, "The mother is heavier than the earth; the father is higher than the heaven; the mind is lighter than the wind and our thoughts are numbered more than grass.')

Growing up, I didn't have too many memories of my parents agreeing to what I wanted or vice versa. They were too busy providing for my sisters and me, and nurturing us. It didn't seem like parenting was a chore for them. It appeared more like a natural extension. I don't recall them talking to their friends about us applying to schools or what we ate, drank-were we fussy eaters? Nothing at all.

My earliest recollections involve my parents taking a stand for something they deeply believed in-education.

They picked an English-medium school for my older sister, in contrast to the Gujarati-medium schools attended by my cousins. I am sure, like most parents between the 1970s and 1990s, my parents believed that education, regardless of a person's gender, would be the defining factor in changing the world. All our parents, rather than spending money on us for clothes, shoes, parties or presents, made sure we had access to the best food and the best education possible- they never cut corners when it came to these two things.

There were no dedicated story times or bedtime routines. There was no option or idea of sleep training or co-sleeping. You learn to sleep on your own when you have to live in a joint family, which was the norm back then with many people living in a tiny house. My mother, who was raising four children on her own, hardly made it to bed on time. And then she had to get up early and start the day all over again. She prioritized family, work and sleep.

Even as she was braiding the hair of her four girls, she supervised our homework and checked in with us about our day. There was no moment our parents spent not playing catch-up. For a parent, life was about multitasking then and it is about multitasking even now.

All my life, I have watched my parents just 'do'. No one complained when they had more on their plate than their fair share. Until we have children, our parents always seem extreme in comparison. Today, as parents, we seek answers from them whenever we feel challenged in different situations every single day. We all seek a playbook to parenting of different people who, according to us, have done it right. I am sure you have come back from a conversation with a parent or read a book, saw a billboard with someone on it or scrolled through Instagram and thought 'I wish I knew what their parents did right.'

Absolutely nothing prepares you for being a parent.

You may assume, 'I will have so much money, this position, at this stage, at this age, but having a child is the first stage in life where you have no control. You need to do it and do it selflessly.

The conversations I have had with the parents of outliers have brewed in my mind for over ten years. Every time a mother has a conversation with another parent or wonders if she is a good parent, she experiences doubt: 'Am I doing a good job of raising my kids-like my friends have?' My definition of success and how I measure it shifted dramatically when I had children in my twenties, as it does for all of us every decade or, in the case of major life events, half a decade.

This book slowly formed in me as I waited for my daughter to open her door after an argument; it came to me in playgroups, PTMs, parks, at birthday parties, during school application processes and also her adolescent years.

One year, while out for dinner celebrating our anniversary, my husband and I talked about how we could do a better job of parenting. It even came up at a family gathering where my in-laws had a different take on things than mine.

There are moments in a parent's life when they do feel overwhelmed, knowing they are making life decisions, which can be scary. I don't know to date if the decision to change their school was right, I don't know if athletics was better than football, and I don't know whether the subjects I chose for them today will be relevant tomorrow.

I remember my anaesthetist, Dr Ketan Parikh, sharing with all the expectant mothers in his prenatal class a line that I haven't forgotten even after fifteen years of childbirth- every mother, tall or short, fat or thin, fair or dark, rich or poor, can feed if she wants to feed. Why is this important?

I was very fortunate to have been born in Mumbai in a non-abusive and loving family, with an abundance of wealth and love. I had siblings who mothered me, opportunities irrespective of my gender and was able to receive a great education. I know the world is unfair and not everyone gets these privileges. I have immense gratitude for it and so much respect for children who battle the odds and find their goals. In the early years of being a parent, life seems physically hard-there is this one extra human who needs to go through life, whom you need to carry with you. The sleepless nights, the raccoon eyes, the feeding, the pooping and puking saga, and the all-nighters you will pull, will not only test you but every relationship you've ever had as a man and woman. Your marriage goes through a different phase altogether. You will put every difference aside to show up as parents.

I know that physically and emotionally, for a woman, childbirth is hard. It rearranges every cell in your body, quite literally. I have so much respect for women who have pulled themselves out of post-partum depression, and their families and partners who have supported them through it. Each time as a parent when you've said, 'This can't happen to me,' it comes alive within you and sometimes within your child.