In Quest of Freedom

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In Quest of Freedom, though it purports to be primarily an account of personal experiences of the author, is more than that. It provides glimpses into various aspects of the non-violent struggle launched in Goa since August 1954. It sheds light on the reign of fear that prevailed in Goa after that, and the police brutalities against the freedom fighters. The author succeeds in presenting the account as a struggle of the free human spirit against the powers of tyranny. The book is a testimony to the idealism that moved a generation of Goans of those times. Very striking is the capacity of the author to see the good points even in the Portuguese police and to display a sense of humour in describing situations that would normally be painted in a somber style.

James Fernandes was born in Goa in 1933, and spent his childhood and boyhood in the village of Assonora. He joined the Goan freedom movement sometime after completing his school studies. In March 1955 he was arrested and sentenced to twelve years of imprisonment. He spent a period of four years and five months in Portuguese jails, most of it in Aguada Fort Prison. After his release he went to Bombay and resumed college studies. For the past twenty-three years he has been teaching English literature in St. Xavier's College, Mapusa. He lives with his wife and five children in Assonora. Since the liberation of Goa he has kept himself aloof from all politics, confining his interest to reading, teaching and a little farming.

The freedom struggle which began in 1954 and which led to Goa's liberation in 1961 is one of the most important events in the last four and a half centuries of Goa's history. But it is an event which in the context of today's rapid changes seems to be fast receding into the past, and the present young generation of Goans may not know much about it, particularly about the human aspect of the freedom struggle an aspect which often is unavailable in historical accounts, and so remains largely unknown. What I mean by its human aspect is the event as it was experienced and lived through by those who par- ticipated in it, and even by others who were in any way affected by it. I feel that accounts of the Goan freedom movement representing the personal experiences of freedom fighters could re-create that period and bring back to life those exciting times of the freedom struggle.

It was my close contact with the young generation, in my capacity as a college teacher, that made me aware of the need of accounts dealing with this human side of the freedom struggle; and the present book is a modest attempt to meet that need. In truth, the idea of the kind of account I would write took shape under the keen interest of students who wanted me to share with them my experiences of the struggle. This account as it deals only with my personal experiences does not pretend to be a full story of the struggle; but, it is hoped, it may enable the reader to form a good idea of what hundreds of freedom fighters who waged the non-violent struggle have gone through.

The days of the freedom struggle were times of great experiences, times when we dared difficult tasks, when we faced dangers, but felt ourselves to be fully alive. Succeeding generations of Goans will not see such days, will not be called upon to go through the ordeals we went through. So memories of those great times, specially memories of the experiences of those who suffered to bring freedom to Goa have to be kept alive for the benefit of the coming generations. In this regard those of us who had the good for tune to be young when we joined the freedom movement, and so felt everything about the struggle all the more intensely, can share many valuable experiences with the young generation - our patriotism which inspired us to action; our idealism which sustained us through the hard struggle and through the long, dreary years of imprisonment; our adventure in undertaking the perilous journeys by night to attend nationalist meetings across the Goa border; our hardships while working for the movement outside, and our sufferings while languishing in jail; our sense of exhilaration as the movement rose to its climax and the goal of freedom seemed to lie within reach, and our sense of frustration as the movement weakened and the goal seemed to recede:

I myself find it amazing in retrospect, that in those stormy times hundreds of Goans, particularly young Goans could leave everything behind and plunge into the struggle when the least we could expect was spending years of our youthful life in jail. Like young people of all times we also had an urge for self-fulfilment; but as we loved our land, and our land then demanded sacrifices, we had to make our self-fulfilment a part of our yearning for a better future for Goa.

Our participation in the freedom movement has had a transforming influence on our life. The satisfaction that comes from participation in a successful national struggle is a pure joy that can be known only by a true patriot, and we have experienced that joy. We have also had the satisfaction that comes from transcending the narrow limits of one's personality by losing oneself in something greater than oneself, in a great cause, in a great movement, by being part of a great historical event. And how significant the event when placed in its wider historical perspective! This event ended the last foreign rule on Indian soil - a foreign rule that had seemed to be eternal be- cause it had outlived the rise and fall of two successive, mighty, and long-lasting empires in India; it had established itself before the great Moghul empire had risen, and it still seemed to be going strong years after the glorious British empire had vanished. And to think that in the four and half centuries of its long duration, it was the proud privilege of my generation of Goans to have risen against it, waged an arduous struggle against it, and helped to end it. Previ ous generations did not see the light of freedom. Succeeding generations will have freedom, but will not get the thrill of fighting for it. We have been fortunate to have lived at the crossroads of history and experienced both.

**Contents and Sample Pages**