I was very confident about parenting before I had children of my own. When people approached me with their concerns, I knew exactly what to say to them. However, things changed dramatically after I became a parent. I do not think anything in this world comes close to changing us as a person or our lives as much as having children. Bill O. Hanlon, the famous psychotherapist, told us an interesting story in one of his workshops. He talked about a man who ran a parenting workshop called Ten Commandments of Parenting. After his marriage, he decided to call it Five Suggestions on Parenting. Soon he had a baby and he changed the workshop's name to Three Tips on Parenting. Then he had twins and he gave it up altogether!
Therefore, at the outset, let me clarify that I do not want to pose as a parenting expert. Far from it! This book is about sharing my own journey with you in a voice that is my own. There is nothing in the world I feel more passionately about than children and parenting. I have read, reflected, and pondered over this for many years. Parenting has by far been my most courageous and meaningful endeavour. I have learned a lot from children and families I have worked with over the years. I have made mistakes- colossal ones - in bringing up my children, especially my elder one, who has, in his own inimitable way, forgiven me (I was your guinea pig, Mum, you didn't know any better than!"). Parenting has brought out the most intense emotions in me- excruciating pain, frazzled nerves, paralysing anxiety and soul-wrecking All You Need Is Love guilt. However, all those have been outweighed by immense joy, gratitude and love.
I believe that parenting is not about the techniques but our philosophy of life in general. It's not about our children but about our becoming more aware, mindful, sensitive and conscious human beings. It's also about the life lessons we learn on the way that go on to become the most precious gift from our children.
I do not think that parenting comes naturally to all of us. There are some earth mothers and fathers, who seem to be made for parenting. They are nurturers and their patience, calmness and gentle presence (amidst all the chaos) is amazing. For the rest of us, we have to develop these skills and way of being through a lot of conscious reflection and soul-searching. Parenting has been one of the most healing processes for me. Through it I have understood my deepest fears, my vulnerabilities, my passions and my strengths. Therefore I do believe, very strongly, that parenting has to be an inside-out process. As parents, we have to go with the principle that I have to first work on myself.
**Contents and Sample Pages**
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